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As an example, there are people who choose not to control their rage or anger. It may cost them friendships, relationships, jobs, safety, or stability. They may see and understand that their anger issues are detrimental to their well-being, but they may refuse to change that behavior.
Though there is no single driving factor behind self-destructive behavior. The person may have unaddressed trauma or grief in their history. They could have unhealthy habits that have fostered through their general lifestyle. They may be experiencing problems that they do not feel comfortable seeking help with. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors to cope with the chaos and difficulty that life can throw our way. What it is not is a weakness of character or a superficial desire to self-destruct.
Emotionally healthy, happy people do not want to turn their life inside out with self-destructive behavior.
If a person engages in self-destructive behavior, there is a reason that needs to be addressed with an appropriate certified mental health professional. Though there are some traits that people with self-destructive behaviors may share, most people will not fall neatly into a perfectly packaged category.
Emotional dysregulation is a phrase that is used in mental health to denote an emotional response that falls outside of the scope of what is considered to be typical. A person who experiences emotional dysregulation may act rashly or impulsively, display unnecessary aggression, or have emotional reactions that are not in line with what they are experiencing. Emotional dysregulation is often a driving force behind self-destructive behaviors.
It can result from brain injuries, early childhood trauma like neglect and abuse, or a variety of psychiatric disorders and mental illnesses. People with emotional dysregulation may feel emotions with greater intensity or clarity.
They may be a highly-sensitive or exceptionally emotional person. These individuals may also be more creative and empathetic than the average person. A person may also have grown up in an invalidating, adverse, or toxic environment. That may include experiences like abuse, neglect, and abusively severe criticism. The person may have been exposed to or raised by people who are emotionally unintelligent , invalidate emotions, or who, themselves, engage in self-destructive behaviors as a coping mechanism.
They may have been exposed to bullying by their peers at school, ostracization, or other social alienation throughout childhood.
Many people do not know how to process and cope with difficult emotions in a healthy way. They may decide to ignore their pain or deny that it exists by trying to turn off their emotions. They eventually start to come to the surface and some people turn to self-destructive behaviors like drugs and alcohol to self-medicate.
The person may find success in coping with their unwanted feelings in the short-term with these behaviors, but they get worse and more intense as time goes on. Upon learning that one of these short-term solutions helps them find relief, the person is likely to go back to that behavior over and over for more relief, which can turn into dependence and addiction. There are numerous types of self-destructive behavior. It would be impossible to list out every example.
Instead, these are some of the more common types of self-destructive behavior that people engage in. Substance abuse is one of the most common forms of self-destructive behaviors. It can easily lead to addiction, negatively impact relationships, and destroy opportunities and employment. It can also lead to other physical and mental health complications. Self-harm such as cutting may be used as a coping mechanism to deal with severe or extreme emotional disturbance.
The person may even get addicted to self-harm. Regular unhealthy eating habits, too much or too little, can lead to eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia. Emotional eating can cause a person to gain weight, which not only has physical health ramifications, but may contribute to mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
A person may wrap themselves in their suffering and use it as a shield to try to deflect responsibility. This is a distressing habit that can result in many long-term health issues not to mention the short-term negative impacts on mood, sleep, creativity, etc. The reality is that under-eating is usually a band-aid for serious self-image problems and other psychological issues.
Forced incompetence means portraying yourself as unintelligent or incapable of successfully achieving something. This habit usually stems from a lack of confidence in your abilities and can function as a coping mechanism e. What goes around comes around, as they say, and the negative influence you have on others, whether by words or deeds, will eventually manifest in your own life e.
On some level, we all know this truth, yet we go ahead and hurt others anyway. Self-harm is an extreme physical expression of self-destructive behavior. This practice is connected to low self-worth and the desire to cope with emotional pain in a physical way. Self-pity is an unconscious form of self-destructive behavior.
It is destructive because it encourages us to remain inactive i. A self-evident form of self-destructive behavior, drug and alcohol abuse creates endless misery in the lives of addicts and their friends and family members.
Drug and alcohol abuse are usually connected to soul loss — or being disconnected from your soul. While not always committed consciously, social suicide is the act of deliberately alienating yourself from your peers. This could be through a variety of irritating, repelling, or antisocial behaviors that on some level you know are self-destructive.
Failing to acknowledge negative and sometimes positive emotions creates a host of mental, emotional, and physiological illnesses. This is another form of unconsciously manifested self-destructive behavior. Some people are in love with their misery because that is all they have known for a large portion of their lives.
Getting poor sleep, refusing to exercise, eating unhealthy food, and failing to maintain the general well-being of your body are all classic signs of common self-destructive behavior. Refusing, avoiding, or failing to confront your psychological health issues e. Sabotaging your relationships is a complex symptom as it involves a large variety of destructive behaviors such as jealousy, possessiveness, emotional manipulation, neediness, violence, and so forth.
Why is it normal to possess a large majority of self-destructive signs? The answer is that most people have either been negatively programmed by their family or society or have unconsciously adopted these actions as a defense mechanism to protect against mental and emotional pain. Try all of them systematically or select a few and work with them consistently. On average, it takes around 66 days to establish a new habit according to what researchers have found.
So make it your goal to stick with at least one of these activities for two months. In fact, we could say that self-awareness is the most crucial ingredient in overcoming self-destructive tendencies!
Read more about how to journal and the practice of self-awareness. Even if you struggle to meditate traditionally, there are endless forms of mindfulness meditation out there that might spark your interest. Examples include walking meditation, mindful art therapy , chanting mantras , guided journeys, color visualization, etc.
I started off with these apps, and they helped me tremendously. Bringing this key spiritual practice into your life can have profound benefits. Just think of a kettle: the more it boils, the more steam is released.
But if that kettle had no way to release that steam, it would eventually explode! The same thing applies to you: you need a pressure valve, a way to channel your pent up emotions. So find something you enjoy doing that requires intense mental or physical effort. Examples include boxing, running, singing, dancing, creating art, or plain old screaming and crying doing this privately is a good idea. One unconventional form of catharsis is called dynamic meditation.
Self-love is a basic attitude of kindness toward yourself: it is the practice of taking care of your emotional needs. Self-care is generally more oriented towards your body: it involves eating properly, getting enough sleep, drinking adequate water, wearing comfortable clothing, staying healthy, etc. Both self-love and self-care go beautifully hand-in-hand as allies against self-destruction. Here are two amazing guides you can read on learning how to love yourself and practicing self-care.
Realize that self-destructive behavior is a sign of inner shadows and core wounds that have gone haywire. Be kind to yourself and realize that you have a metaphorical thorn lodged in your side. Seeking out guidance in the form of a therapist or counselor will aid you with ongoing support and tools. These, in turn, will transform your life little by little. There are many reasons why someone might be self-destructive. On an emotional and psychological level, self-destructive tendencies may arise from childhood trauma, negative social conditioning, and low self-esteem that is due to having unsupportive or abusive peers.
On a spiritual level, self-destructive tendencies are due to soul loss , or a disconnection from your authentic essence. Examples of self-destructive behaviors might include excessive self-sacrifice, over-eating or under-eating, sabotaging close relationships, smoking or drinking too much, drug abuse, and self-harm.
Journaling about your discoveries is a powerful place to begin. The next step is to practice self-care and self-love. Learn how to take care of your body and nurture yourself on an emotional level. Self-destructive thoughts are a product of low self-esteem and a part of us known as the inner critic. You are so much bigger than the self-destructive thoughts that randomly pop into your mind. Deep down, they feel guilty for something, generally imagined, and this excessive generosity is a form of chastisement and redemption.
One way or another, this type of person feels that others have the right to abuse them. Many of these self-destructive behaviours begin precisely with some type of abuse at an early age. Sometimes, even, friendship. If by exception they establish a good relationship with someone, they will feel strange. And so they turn to flings, obsessions and even abusers, damaging their good relationships.
A self-destructive person suffers a lot and makes others suffer. Sometimes the problem is so intractable that they basically live in solitude. Their potential to grow is always limited. Because of all this, the situation calls for the help of a professional psychotherapist. No matter how hard you try, you keep stumbling into the same kinds of relationships. Relationship made out of pain and obsession: destructive relat Interesting Articles.
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