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It is right and good for thoughtful people to push back. Original Author: Quin Hillyer. Original Location: Eddie Izzard may be a transvestite, but the actor is no lady. Germany's newly elected parliament to convene for first time. Microsoft and partners may be compensated if you purchase something through recommended links in this article. Found the story interesting? Like us on Facebook to see similar stories.
I'm already a fan, don't show this again. Send MSN Feedback. Walking out of the door wearing heels and makeup was so hard. I had to get my brain ready to do that. My only advice if you want to run a marathon is: listen to your body.
But listen to the signals. In , I came here and attempted this challenge but had to stop after four marathons in four days. After the third, my pee turned brown. We discovered it was a reaction to the medication I was taking for my cholesterol. Head for the hills! Head for Azerbaijan! Pas du tout! They have loads of champagne, and they celebrate all the time. You can lean over a bit like this? Le fromage? Les souris?
Qui est Charlie Croker? Camp Freddy? The cast list. Ici un cheval, pas de glue, un cheval, pas de glue, pas de cheval, beaucoup de glue! And it was an exchange trip, so we had to be re-exchanged, you know, and this all took place in the cross-Channel ferry, like it does. Oui, oui, on peut le manger.
I did German tapes as well! Big drop in your understanding. Wo ist das Kind? And then we did Latin tapes as well, we did bloody Latin tapes, and they were just lies. It was pure lies because no one knew what the bloody accent was. Well, we are the Romans. Yes, we are. Dog to Cesar. Bring me my horse, thank you very much! Roman history was fascinating because 2, years ago they murdered and killed a lot of people!
Forget it. That makes sense… So some sayings are true! So what you do is you hit someone —. Look, the bygones are coming! Back in Roman times, when people died, they had professional mourners come in, which is a terribly weird idea. Claudius is dead. Oh, God…! Oh, Jove! Forget the whole thing. Slave, get a message out to Mourners-R-Us, will you? Tell them I wish to beef up the grief! Yes, let bygones be bygones. Oh, Mr. Claudius is dead, what a tragedy!
A great man- was he a great man? I hope he was, yeah… A great big man, anyway. Claudius out front, and just myself about 10 meters behind, just a little bit pissed off. But just to tail off the whole piece, so I started twanging him into trees! Bring it back, bring it back… Come on! Also, back in Roman times, Pliny The Younger wrote letters. Get me out of here!! Send fucking dogs… Get on to Mr. Love and kisses, Pliny the Younger.
And St. Always treat your neighbour like someone who lives near to you. Never put a sock in a toaster. Never put jam on a magnet. Never throw your Granny in a bag.
Never suck all the juice out of a vampire. Love, Paul Saint. Ask someone else. Oh, give it here. What does it say…? Whose idea was it to be a pen-pal with St. Paul anyway? Paul - Chapter 1- Verses 1 to a million.
More letters to follow. Tuesday 28 th of something. Just fu- who are you? Why do you keep sending these letters? You arrogant bastard, you send a letter to an entire city! What do you want us to do, put these up in a board or something?
Just fuck off! You daft git! Love and kisses, the Corinthians. And the Carthaginians as well! Oh, they gave the Romans hell! Because they attacked Rome, the Carthaginians did, over the Alps on elephants… and the Romans were never expecting that.
The Carthaginians attacking? I knew it! Attacking over the Alps? Where did they get the elephants? Happy, you know? That was the way in down the fucking Alps. But their leader, Hannibal, and his brothers, Hasdrubal,. Bloody elephants! Bit of peace of quiet and whoom! Fucking elephants on my roof! Anyway… So you think I should take up the clarinet, do you? Cesar here has been learning the clarinet for some time now. No, Sir! Yes, Sir! Civilians, we have a hand-shaky kind of agreement- kind of greeting thing.
I want you to meet a whole bunch of people. Did you have names? The Compensation Handshake. A firm handshake is great, but that crusher one where they start to rotate your knuckles, you know? Fucking hell! Good Lord! Hope you die in a car crash! You killed him dead, man! Now he suffers from hand-squeezy death. I have been known to cruise in that back area… I can walk down the street and get these opposite reactions now.
I can walk down, and people go, mimes alternately positive and negative reactions Makes you feel really good, but sick… And yeah, so…. The tractor going mimes deflating himself All the juice sucked out of it. So… squeaks. I just forgot what I was talking about. So one matchstick out of the corner of your mouth, mm-hmm-hmm, quite cool. Eye patches have a similar number problem. One eye patch, looking quite cool!
Two eye patches… hello? Pirates and the kid at school with the lazy eye, they were the two groups that had eye patches; again, very disparate. Long John Silver had an eye patch, quite cool. Also had a parrot on his shoulder… doubting noises It was the wrong bird, he should have had a mina bird! Yeah, stuff them! People come up, and they say,. They put poison in your coffee.
A mina bird in a … mimes plane taking off, mina bird fastening seat belt, looking out the window and waving to the birds outside The birds outside… mimes birds looking in while flying, in disbelief — mina bird waves back from inside plane, points at seatbelt, reclines seat, puts on headphones, laughs at movie… These birds are flying very fast, of course!
White wine, please. Thank you very much. And the road goes very close, if you go to Beachy Head, and people get out of the cars and they just want to look over the cliff.
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